While reading a book, especially a book on psychological or
philosophical aspects most of us have a tendency to relate the incidents, characters,
philosophy with our own or others (people known to you) experiences. We do this
perhaps because it helps us to understand and relate. This happened to me while
I was reading a book called Social Intelligence (by Daniel Goleman of Emotional
Intelligence) where he cites an example of a mob fearing from a group of
soldiers gets united against them. The mob had a preconceived negative notion
that the soldiers have come to arrest their leader or may harm their place of
worship. The commanding officer Lieutenant Colonel Christopher Hughes had to
think fast. He took a loudspeaker –told his soldiers first to kneel on one
knee, then second to point their rifles towards the ground and third to have a
big smile on their faces. This had a dramatic effect on the situation there by
breaking the cultural and language barriers. He was able to calm the whole
crowd.
Daniel explains this further by calling this as brain’s
social brilliance even in a tense and chaotic situation e.g. deciding instantly whether to run or engage when
you encounter a stranger with the help of your mind neural circuits.
I had an incident with a stranger on a Mehrauli Road between
Gurgaon & Delhi last month where I behaved differently than my normal self
.Honestly, I was surprised by my own behavior & felt that it was not me
.The behavior did not came at least from my thinking mind. . It was afternoon
time on a weekday with fair amount of traffic on the road. I was going for a
client meeting when I heard a sound “hump” like something touched my car in the
back. There was not much of traffic and I had plenty of time and was driving at
a normal pace . I noticed a man on a bike driving next to me .I am known among
my friends and family who drives safe. That day was not any different. I was
pretty sure that there was no chance that I have done something wrong. I got a
feeling that the man on the bike has actually deliberately come closer to my
car and with his hand had slapped the car body which caused that sound. As I
was confident and my intentions were clear, I stopped my car just to understand
and find out what was the problem.
I still didn’t understand that this is the trap created by
the man on the bike just to attract my attention and made me stopped. This is
what he wanted .The moment I stopped my car just to find out what has happened,
he aggressively took his helmet out. Now I can see his face and body built. He
was more than 6 ft height and muscular built more like a wrestler. The commuters
were not interested in what is happening on the road side. Everyone just passed
by.
When I asked him what
had happened, out of a sudden he changed his tone. He was now sounding like someone
who wants to extort money from you. He was very straight and said- You were
driving wrong & you were about to hit me on my bike. Give me money and we
will settle it here. I was astonished and now I could realise his intentions and
why & how he created this trap. I got into his trap.
I collected my little presence of mind still present there and
just laughed as I am not scared from him and his threat .I told him that why he
is doing this in broad day light ?I told him this and just sat in my car so
that I can just get out of there. He understood that I am not going to shell
out money so easily to him. May be he was looking for more. He now changed the
tactics. He as well opened my car and sat in the front seat and asked me to
give money or drive with him.
This was the moment that my sixth sense worked. I guess
similar to what might have occurred to Lieutenant Colonel Christopher Hughes as narrated
by Daniel Goleman in Social Intelligence. I responded looking at the gravity of
situation .I quickly took my phone and came out of my car. I had a feeling that
he wanted to kidnap me. That guy came out of the car as well. I pretended to
him that I know him and I as well stay nearby in the same area. He did not
believe first .He asked me name & where I live. I told him whatever came to
my mind just out of nowhere. Seeing that it has some impact but not that he can
let me go. But I could see that he is now thinking about his next actions. I
had to say something more which can deter him. A day before one of my friends
had traveled from Mumbai with an ACP (Assistant Commissioner of Police) who
was sitting next to him. When I was talking to him, he told me the name of that
ACP. In the same breath I also told that guy- Do you know I am nephew of that ACP
& I raised my tone Do you know what an ACP is? Seeing my reaction that guy
again changed his tone and said since it was my fault, I should have said Sorry
& matter would have been over. I told him if this is the case- I am sorry.
The moment I said this like he was now trying to escape as well from the
situation. He sat on has bike, kicked, started it & within seconds he had
gone.
I was standing there, still not able to believe that I was
able to avoid a difficult situation. There are many more incidents which I can
collect now where I lied, behaved very differently or acted without thinking out
of impulse to come out of a difficult situation or to give myself into a situation.
I can now recall & relate to many such difficult situations in life and how
our mind had behaved in those tricky situations. Funny isn't it?
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